just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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