just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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