Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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