I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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