dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
