ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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