In America we eat man semen.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize