normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
