Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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