My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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