You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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