im gay
i know
yea but for you.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
