so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
