that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
