Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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