I look better un-naked...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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