no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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