I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
