the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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