So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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