you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I stole a fireplace last night.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
