Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
