If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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