Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
