her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
