She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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