So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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