Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm at about main and main street
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
