It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
