i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
