I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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