Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize