He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Randomize
