dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
