But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
