so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
this is an emotional support booty call
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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