NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
it glows. i had to have it.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize