Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize