i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
