well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
