how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize