i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The uberlube is also flammable
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
