My cat gives me a boner
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
