So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
