You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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