you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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