Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
