4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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