I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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