i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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