My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
