I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
