You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
