im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize