No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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