Please, let me fuck your mom
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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