Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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