I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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