I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just want to make out with him forever
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
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